I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
