He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
