...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
