She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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