we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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