his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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