He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
