we made out on top of his cat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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