We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
