guys are not supposed to queef...right?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
