She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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