How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
