If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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