It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
