1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
