your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize