Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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