you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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