im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
