I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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