WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
