I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
