Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
