There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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