The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
