I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
