I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
