Jerry, you need to find god
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
