A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
