I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The air taste purple.
Randomize
