She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
