So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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