nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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