im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
