You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
