do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
