is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
