she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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