if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
