Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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