Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
