I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize