I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
