Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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