STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
