You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
