everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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