Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
