yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
