Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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