i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
