i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize