I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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