Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
