I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
