Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I could fuck to npr.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
