i just wanna soil my oats bro
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
