It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
