1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The feeling are messing with the penis
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
