We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
