Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
