yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
